3E. First time of my life do systematic meditation
When evening end of exam in that term I and Mr. Kug get in a bus from front of university to watt Mahatad. We get to section 5 watt mahatad about at 19.50 pm. We connect the monk who is officer for accept. When the monk see to us and see we's dressing. The monk might think that we's dressing is not good and youngster and come here this time. Then the monk say to us. “Recreation room is full”. We must step back and stand hold the bag. In this time we don't know do any thing. But then nun who know that story come to us and say.”Are Sons want to practice meditation?.” My friend anser.”Yes we are come here for pratice meditation.”. The nun say. “Sons wait for monk's teacher. Monk's teacher come here about 20.00 pm.”. We wait about 10 minite monk's teacher get in. And the nun tell monk's teacher about us. The monk's teacher see to us and say. “Have many recreation room receive them”.
I have do meditation full format first time in my life. After that we know name of the nun and name of the monk's teacher. The nun is name masee Prapei. The monk's teacher name Prakru Parudpanoom. First day of pratice meditation at 7.00 am eat breakfast have gruel and two or three dishes.
Schedule of meditation
8.00 – 10.00 am
11.00 am eat lunch
13.00 – 17.00 pm
19.00 – 21.00 do meditation and listen to sermon or check result of practice by monk's teacher.
I eat food two time. If after 12.00 am don't eat food becase I observe the eight commandments. Masee Prapei teach basic method of meditation. She teach method of stand, sitdown ,walk, turn body, lie down or move the body by have sense focus on that moveing or at the appearance body if not move. Oh! It has many detail for set or focus sence or mind in meditation . So I skip detail of meditation becase I want tell about experience my life. If I tell in detail the reader might irk.
Becase i worry about study that i nearly finish. I do meditation 8 day. When i check result of exam i pass every subject. Oh! In summer i have three elective subject. It is easy subject. I study easy in summer. So my mind interest do meditation more than study. If i interest study i can make grade “G” two subject or three subject. When end exam of summer term I hurry go to section 5 watt Mahatad Taprajun to do meditation which Mr. Kug stay yet.
I don't worry about study again. Becase i know i pass an exam of three subject and finish study sure. My new friend or general person who know me in Bangkok nobody know about my is son of emigrate Vietnam which illigal and my suffering which the Ministry of interior not allow me study.
With suffering and many trouble from law and from father force around me. Then i come to do meditation i stick meditation very much. I do meditation as study by do meditation with my life. When i do meditation by try out with my life. I work hard. I do meditation with strick way it is not middel way. Such as in next time must meet pain.
I have problem becase when sitdown do meditation i can not focus my sence at my stomach my sence alway focus at my nose tip becase i do Hanapanasati many year ago. But in this way do'n use Hanapanasati.
This way when sitdown must focus sence at stomach. When inhale the stomach is swell together with think “swell out”. And when outhale the stomach is flatten together with think “flatten down”. I try three day i can not do. I uneasy. So i have decided do every thing as this way but when sitdown my sence at nose tip . When outhale together with think “transform no stick”. And when inhale together with think “can not stand on end”. And I understand that mean.
So i not uneasy. I do meditation is well. After day when do meditation i fell light hearted and light body. When i sitdown i have fine to do meditation. After that my sence is come together at the breast. I listen softly voice. I have not know abuot my body. I know around breast as cotton wool has light. I have happiness and delight. I don't interest every thing then have voice at my sence tell me that “ Try do meditation continually not stop”. This symptom stay more than 10 minite.
About 20.30 pm at 7 day of do meditation second time when i want to take a bath but bathroom not empty. I must go to the bedroom which many people can sleep here. I wait here but i do meditation very time. In bedroom have mr. Kug, two man, one monk and me. I sitdown do meditation about 15 minite after time i lie down i yet do meditation by my sence at nose tip . When outhale together with think “transform no stick”. And when inhale together with think “can not stand on end”. And I understand that mean. I do meditation shortly my sence is disappear and then appear picture of the old monk who walking to hut and then i tkink in my minde that “ is monk this good if have not sensuality this is peacefully”. Suddenly my sence include and sink after that disappear and then my sence appear but include as point then rise up quickly feel little at my eyes and then include and sink again . It is same as three time. At once i feel my body. At once my body shake in short time. After that it is normal but my minde is ignore not interest. I stand up and go to take a bath. In bathroom when i take a bath i sundenly think about pass event. I think that i may succeed Nippan. I may is Arriya person. I stick in my think. Little heat disperse all body and little delight full in my minde. Oh! I have not careful my sence i stick my think. When finish take a bath i go to bedroom and say with mr. Kug about appear event of me. My excited and delight is increase. Oh ! In this night i can not sleep becase my delight and excited is increase very much. My delight and excited very much as wave in sea with move to the beach all time in time have strong win. I must sitdown and waver my body until daylight.
New day i have not sleepy. I usually do meditation. But my skin and muscle is fit. Oh! My eyes can see aura from people from Buddha picture from Buddha statue. My eye saw very thing is bright. I can know level meditation of people by see the aura of him. Person has different aura becase they have different level of meditation. Normally person has little yellow and little radius of aura. Person who do meditation someone has amber color aura someone has white aura and someone big or little radius of aura. But The Buddha statue with people worship have six or seven light color in aura. when i have see the aura i have mistaken that i am a Arriya. After seven day i introduce mr. Kug do meditation as me. Mr. Kug can do and can see aura from people as me. Oh! I and mr. Kug have mistaken. They have many serprising event that make we is as a important person in spirit world such as.
In one night i lie down but not yet sleep and mr. Kug is not yet sleep as me. There is the temple boy who sleep opposite me. He is stagger and sit up sitdown hair of him is straight around. He move come at my foot and worship me when finish he go to sleep.
When i lie down and do meditation my minde is going out from my body but i fear that i can not come back at my body becase i want to make usefullness for Buddha in state i am humankind. So i try have sence at my body when this event appear. This event appear many time. One time this event appear and my minde is going out body at my arm and i see two person stand near my body summon by gesture of the hand. I nearly go out my body but when i know myself i make sence know at my body my minde reture at my body.
At take noon break i and mr. Kug always like go to worship Buddha's relics in chedi and the principle Buddha image by walk pass the section 1. When we cross the door of section 1 there is win embrance at we's back. When i stand at chedi and worship Buddha the sun have a halo. When we cross the door for in Buddhist monastery there is the win embrance at we's back. When we worship finish we cross the door for out there is win embrance at we's back again. This event is not one time. It has many times. One day we go to chedi but around on chedi have market women sell flower by not interest and block people who worship chedi. I see that i regard the Buddha and go to chedi when we get to chedi. At once then Market women see me. They are scared and rush down from chedi. And when i stand at for worship at onec the sun have a halo. mr. Kug move far from me. I worship chedi alone. After that mr. Kug worship. When we finish worship i ask mr. Kug. “Why are not you worship together with me.” mr. Kug say . “I know that event is special for you alone.”
One day we walk pass monk teacher's room. We see monk teacher in the room. We go into the room for salute and say with monk teacher. When we sitdown monk teacher ask us. “ What are you do meditation for?” We tell that. “We do meditation for remain Dharma of Buddha”. Monk teacher nod. Which we can see the aura of monk teacher. The aura of monk teacher is different from another person. Becase the aura is tightly gold color close skin about 2 or 3 cm. When monk teacher walk in the sunshine the gold color of aura is brilliant. In that time i yet not faith monk teacher. But I faith monk principal very much. We tell monk teacher. “We see the aura of monk teacher”. Monk teacher look we's face and say. “ Now are you see.” We say “now we yet see.” At time monk teacher calm then the aura disappear 3 or 4 minite after that the aura appear as before. But we are not ask monk teacher why the aura disappear 3 or 4 minite. After day we continue do meditation. Becase we mistaken therefore we agree together for go to the monkhood all time of life. By i will go to the monkhood at my home and mr. Kug will go to the monkhood at he's home. And we will come meet again at here. Total day i do meditation 26 day and mr. Kug do meditation more than one month.
I come to the lodgings and see result on bord in university. I can pass an exam of three subject. I sure finish study. I pack up bag and cancel lodgings. I come back my home at Pattaling province. At home i tell my father and mother that i finish study and i want go to the monkhood. My father and mother agree. At once i go to the temple in region and stay at temple for prepare go to monkhood. I see my father feel proud in me becase i can finish study in university in three year and many people in region say with him about i good study. I win the heart of my father. I prepare for go to monkhood 10 day.