4E. I Become a monk

         In tradition one day before go to monkhood must have religious ceremony. I tell to my parent in religious ceremony disallow kill animal for food and disallow drink alcohol. Disallow kill animal have not problem becase can sale prok and die chicken from the maket. But disallow drink alcohol have problem becase someone beg money from my brother for buy alcohol by i don't know. Drunken men are angry me. One drunken man distrub me. He has spell and he spell to me. I bear and don't interest him. In the night people who come in my religious ceremony pay respect and listen monk prays. At the end of rite there is one woman is faint lie down and cann't walk . At once the drunken man shout that the woman faint becase he spell to. And tell me in many people that i must grope the sole of foot of the woman and then grope on my head the woman will can walk. I cann't bear. I shout to drunken man that.” Go out from my home”. The drunken man shout back that “ You are little boy that wean. You have not spell more than me.” After that my brother bring him sleep at hall. In morning my parent shave my hair on my head for perpare go to monkhood. In this time there is some people who against emigrate Vietnam people which illigal. And some monk against too.

         My brother go to the city for bring one principal monk and one vice chairman monk. At walking together my brother say that “Although my younger brother is the son of emigrate Vietnam people but he can finish study in university in three year. And when finish study he come back home for go to monkhood.” when vice chairman monk listen that he go out and don't go to monkhood for me. And the principal have to go out with vice chairman monk. When my brother come back and tell that principal monk is not come go to monkhood for me. I and my parent are fell sad and dispond. It is show that we are low people. I receive affliction from father and law until i renounce my life for study in university. But now i receive affliction from social distinctly. I blad and i have to wear white suit stay at temple about 7 day until low people as me tell me that another sect can ordained for me. I go to the city. I stay at temple that can ordained for me. I wait about 15 day for ordained. All pass time i always do meditation and now i know that i mistaken perception. I more careful and control my think. Don't think that i am superb. Don't think that i am important man in the world. I don't can do anything as my want. Oh! State of low people can control this think but it is not good in future becase i will not do good thing for social if i see that i have not enough and i don't try help.

          At wait time i do meditation when i know inhale and outhale my sence is little and disappear when appear again it light and crystal don't know body (not have body) know spacificaly minde. I have happy. After that i know my body. I interest this event and i do it again by know inhale and outhale that event appear again but it more light and crystal and happiness than pass. It is a long time before know over my body.

         I had ordained. I have monk 15 day assistant abbot come from Bangkok. When he know that i had son of emigrate Vietnam people. He is angry me. Oh ! Advertisement of Thai Government against Communis is beyond expectation. The assistant abbot say that if he stay at time when i ordained and know that i ordained all my life. He woud stopy my ordained. All the time in three month assistant abbot speak about polistics to many monk and focus to me that he want give me out from monk if i want have monk all my life. I know becase my friend monk tell me after. And he say that i have many trouble if i want have monk all my life. During i am monk university send letter to me. University want permission paper from the Ministry of interior. But i can not find permission paper send to university.

         When start at 4 month the assistment abbot can not bear and come say to me that. “I see that you should leave the monkhood better if you want monkhood all you life.” I listen that i focus at my minde and think that . “It is sin off me. I should give him if he want”. So i say to him that. “ I will leave the monkhood as you beg . I hope we sin end at now .“ he smile as the winner.

         I leave the monkhood and stay at home 3 or 4 day. After that i go to Bangkok city. I go to watt Mahatad taprajun i meet mr. Kug who leave the monkhood as me but he go to monkhood 7 day. I and mr. Kug continue do meditation at section 5 watt Mahatad taprajun.

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