E1. My life in childhood .
I had born at lampam region pattalung province the South of Thailand
in a.d 1959
My state is low becase i had son of emigrate Vietnam people which illigal. My famaly is a singel famaly of emigrate Vietnam people reside at lampam region. My mother is Laos peopel. She was born at Vengjun province in Laos country. My farther is Vietnam people. After My father and My mother emigrate to Thailand for earn a living. They meet and married at Nongkay province in Thailand. When they have 4 child the Communism expand to Indojen specially in Vietnam country. At time Thai government against Communism so my father was catch togetter with man who emigrate form Vietnam which illigal and they had move to the South of Thailand. After My mother with 4 child forrow my father to Patalung province in the South of thailand. My mother was travel with undergro trouble becase she has 4 child. In 4 child has one twin and the twin's age not yet one year old.
When I had born and I remember I fell my state life is low in social. And my father oppress everyone in him farmaly . My father life in childhood he had many trouble becase he's mother was die he's father has new mother. My father leave from he's famaly when he was a boy. So when my father storm he's son he must lay off he's son from home. My father is easily storm and he compel everyone in home do and think on schedule of him. My father not send he's son study in junior high school. And compel he's son stop to study. My father want he's son study a job that he has. He has barber and repairman a radio.
In lampam region has temple of buddhism 7 temple which is near . Temple of buddhism in Thailand call Watt. And Watt is center of social. When I has little boy I always go to Watt for play with friends and get sweet to eat. I hear teaching from monk that “do good get good and do bad get bad”. I believe in teaching .So I not make trouble with my parent and socail.
When my 8 year old my parent not interest send me to study in school . I saw my friend go to school. I cry and tell my mother that I want go to school. But my mother not interest. My mother is market woman. She interest make a sale. So I cry not stop until my mother can't bear she allow me go to school. If I have not cry at time I must not study at year.
I has not good at study in primary class. I score at neary middel of class. In two and three year I still not good at study becase my parent not interest in my study. My friend is good study. He's score is top of school. He's parents are teacher. I want to good study sam him but I not know method to learn and I always absent minded when study in class. I don't remember lesson when end of lesson.
In fourth year when I study maths in my class. I saw to the window. I saw the leaf it move becase the win. After I absent minded just amoment. Then I have consciouse. I promise I will not absent minded again. Becase I hear The monk say “ We will have sense all time”.
After day I try warn myself and have sense when I will absent minded. After month I have not absent minded in class. Oh! It is good. I have good study my score is in front off class. In 5th – 6th and 7th year my score is second off class and my score is in front off school.
I am good study. But my education will end . Becase my father compel me stop study. I lose my hope continue to study in junior high school. I fell sorrowful and I don't know do anny thing. I regard the Buddha and worship hope continue to study in junior high school before sleeping at night every day. I start do meditation with myself by follow the picture of buddha who sitdown. Becase I don't know how to do meditation I think I must not think every thing and not move every my body at time when I do meditation . So I can bear do meditation 5 minute or 10 minute. In weekend my father compel me to help him repair bicycle for customer . At time my father was not barber becase the law not follow foreign is barber. But at time my parent isn't poor . We have money becase everybody in my parent do the job and my father is stingy man.
I am a boy 12-13 year old. When I repair the bicycle and I can not do it and I lazy. My father strom to me. I fell sad. When finish job I hide go to the room by not tell everyone. I do meditation but I fell sad. So tear drop from my eyes. Tear flow cave of nose and cave of lip I fell scratch but I don't move body. I bear until I have not fell sad.
When I study end of primary school. I can not continue to study in junior high school. Becase my father stop my study that. When I saw my friend go to school in junior high school in the city I fell very sad. One night I dream that I go to school with my friend. When I wake up I cry with sorrow . I stay at home and help my father repair the bicycle one year.
I still worship the Buddha and hope continue to study in junior high school before sleeping at night every day. Oh ! End of year teacher who teach in primary school want to open junior high private school in my Lampam region. Becase Junior high school and high school have in the city . The student must travel to study in city.
I ask my father. I want to study in this private school in region. My father say no.I fell sad but not fell dejected. After day I tell my father that school is near and walk to study and little school free. My father say no but I not fell dejected.
I ask my mother. But my mother tell me to ask father. So I beg mother help me for ask father to send me study. After day mother say with father. And I tell father that when end lesson of day and weekend I can help him repair the bicycle. Father give in for send me to study.
This year my score is the top of this private school . This private school have two class .Next year have few new student who want to study in this private school. This private school must go out of business. I must go to study in big private school in the city by my father not stop me study.
I have top score in the big of private school in the city. In that time I develop meditation by have sense at the nose tip and know the breath.
when inhale know. when exhale know.
when short inhale know short in. when short exhale know short out.
When long inhale know long in. when long exhale know long out.
But in that time I think the word “Budd” when inhale and the word “Dha” when exhale by sense and think the word at nose tip . But Now I don't use think the word. And This method of meditation is call “Hanapanasati”.
When I end study in junior high school. I pass to study high school in government school by not examine becase I have high percentage school score . Although I have a good study student but I have low stat in socail and stat of law low different form thai citizen.
In that time Communism spread out and thai government against Communism. So the law control hardly for emigrate Vietnam people which illigal in thailand. I feel very weak point. I not dare express. I not dare to strat. When it store in more time. I feel bashful to express.
In high school I have school score in front of school. But I walking to the point of end for study. becase the law not allow emigrate Vietnam people which illigal in thailand study in higher education. When nearly end high school there have examine to study in Shongkra University. I choose study in Faculty of Science and I can examine pass to study in Shongkra University. But University not allow me to study. I come to an end of hope. I nearly drop on floor. After day I hear senior who can examine pass to study in university but he can not study same me. He faint.
When I finish study in high school. I hope Open University can accept me. That time Ramkumhang University is Open University at Bangkok and Ramkumhang is single Open University in Thailand. My father know that. He storm and compel me stop to study. But I hide my father by ask mother support me to study in Ramkumhang University. My mother agree with me. I hide father go to Bangkok by stay with my friend who study in Churarongkron University.
At day I send paper apply for study in Ramkumhang University. When teacher saw my paper and know that I had son of emigrate Vietnam people which illigal. She was not accept me. I feel end of hope. I nearly drop on floor. And my friend feel despond.
I go back at home in Phattalung. My father compel me to practice repair motercycle in city. I still always worship the Buddha before sleeping at night every day. When happen that. I must worshipe the buddha and hope continue to study in University before sleeping at night every day. I repair motercycle nearly one year. My uncle come to my home tell me and mother that Ministry of interior allow son of emigrate Vietnam people which illigal can study in University one by one. My father hear that. He strom and scold me and mother. My uncle sense a situation that he go out from my home at time. But I have a little hope. I ask mother many day for study in Ramkumhang University. Mother give in for send me to study. I go to uncle's home. I ask him for method ask for permission from Ministry of interior. He tell me that Ministry of interior allow student who have that.
Student and student's parent have good history and good behaviour.
Father and mother permit student study in University
Good parent's income
I know that. I serious becase my father not permit. So I send paper that mother permit me study without father to the police station who control emigrate Vietnam after day they send my paper to the Ministry of interior.
After one month I wait permission's paper from the Ministry of interior but they are not send to me. I go to the police station. I ask officer that . He tell me. “The Ministry of interior not yet permission but they are send question's paper come to me.” I think The Ministry of interior may not permission for me. Becase My father not allow me to study. I think I should get that's have and hurry officer. I tell officer.”University open apply for Entran. If I have not something assure to them. They might not give me apply for Entran.” the officer hear that and he say. “ I see you are a good boy. So I will coppy question's paper for you apply for Entran frist.”